Monday, November 3, 2008

Consider your teeth sunk in


I realize it’s been some time since I’ve given any serious thought to what I put on this page and I feel it is my duty to make this entry a meaningful one. I don’t mean meaningful as in profound or life altering, just meaningful as in something more than a quick note or song or video. The truth of the matter is that tomorrow something amazing will happen: we will have either a Black President in Barack Obama or (I hope to god this doesn’t happen) a female vice president in Sarah Palin. I have nothing against women but everything against someone with less foreign policy experience than my sister. Having done my duty and submitted an absentee ballot already I have taken part in this history making election and hopefully you have done or will do the same.

On a different note… a very different note, I have found that I am once again lost in my own head, contemplating life’s ifs, ands, and buts. Not one time have I escaped from myself alive and I expect this time to be no different so those of you with the ability to reach out and touch me I suggest you either temporarily back away to a safe viewing distance or hold me tight and never let me go because this ride is going to be intense. Perhaps intensifying the situation is the fact that I am rapidly approaching another major transitioning period in which I leave college and go home for a month and a half leaving those with whom I’ve become friends behind. I truly believe you develop stronger bonds when you experience something new together which means that I am more tightly bound to my college friends than I ever could be with my high school buddies… even if I am closer to them. I’ve had certain experiences here that simply cannot be understood by anyone not directly involved in the situation and when I leave and my stressors pile up and I crash no one will understand why. Yes, some of it is left over from before I ever got here ad some of it relates to back home as well but it still will not be the same. It’s like the saying “you can’t step into the same river twice”. With everything new there is something old and something that can never change but as with everything in the future, it will be what we make it. Right now, I’d say my future looks bright and despite the occasional flicker I don’t think it’ll get dark anytime soon. All that being said, I hope your days are as good as mine and that when you come crashing down you have someone to catch you… if you are worried about that then consider my arms your safety net. It’s the least I can do, really. If no one catches me I can at least make sure you don’t land on your face too. Nobody likes to see more than one person bloodied and broken though they’d rather not see anyone hurt at all. And by the way, I love you.

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