Maybe...

I have nothing to say. I have nothing to say so I'm going to write about nothing. Nothing obviously is not possible so you already know that by writing about nothing I'm not writing about something. Maybe I just don't feel like writing right now but I can't think of anything else to do. Maybe I need a hug. Maybe I want to go back to sleep. Maybe I want to go home. Maybe I want to sleep in a bed that doesn't hurt my back. Maybe I want to pet my dog. Maybe I want to give you a hug. Maybe I'm stressed. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm hungry. Maybe I'm sick. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I just want the truth and Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't know what I want. Maybe I'm a jerk. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I beat myself up so other people can't. Maybe I protect myself too much. Maybe I have writer's block. Maybe I'm just making up excuses. Maybe I'm seeing things that don't exist. Maybe I've written all week because I have nothing else to do. Maybe I've written this week just hoping you'll read it. Maybe I'm not the one actually writing this. Maybe I have a doppleganger.  Maybe you shouldn't believe everything you hear. Maybe I shouldn't believe everything I hear. Maybe I should get up. Maybe I should stay here. Maybe I never should have told you. Maybe I should tell you. Maybe I don't know what to do. Maybe I want answers. Maybe they don't exist. Maybe I'm immune. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I need a kick in the face. Maybe I'm ignorant. Maybe I'm too observant. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm just missing something. Maybe I can't see. Maybe I can't hear. Maybe I can't speak. Maybe I don't have anyone to talk to. Maybe no one will listen. Maybe I miss getting phone calls. Maybe I need a new teddy bear. Maybe I can fix the old one. Maybe I eat when I'm stressed. Maybe I do things I regret. Maybe I hate myself. Maybe you hate yourself. Maybe I should just stop. We are all human. We all question everything or at least we should. I drank a soda last night for the first time in five and a half years. I just didn't care.