Week 3 Introspection: 10 cars

I am sitting in "Lurch" listening to KP talk. She's telling a story. We're driving down a highway in South Carolina talking and laughing though everything is inaudible. We stop in front of a California style house. It's huge. 2 stories with fancy steps. I walk towards the front door and stop. I'm inside on the second floor looking out the window. I see lurch but KP is no longer in the front seat, Nay is. She's waving to me from the driver's side window. She smiles and beckons me to her telling me to hurry so we won't be late. I run to her. I'm sitting in the front seat while Nay drives, wind whipping through her hair. She laughs heartily though I still cannot hear it. I hear only the wind. I'm smiling; grinning from ear to ear. I love driving, especially driving for no reason but to go. I"m happy she's with me. I'm happy she's happy. We are driving along the California coast now and the sun is setting. I'm driving and Nay is beside me. I sing along with music I can't hear and Nay laughs at how terrible I am. It's raining now. I'm sad and Nay is quiet. We stop. We sit in the car in the middle of the storm not speaking or laughing or smiling.

I'm alone now, sitting in the driver's seat gripping the wheel. Tears stream down my face. Lurch is back in the garage and I'm 3, sitting in the backseat. I look around and outside the car are stacks of files and our old minivan. I just want to grow up. It's raining outside so I walk away and lay down. The rain falls on my body. I am 22. I'm alone.