Sex in a Bottle

Earlier today I read a post by The Dirty Ballerina and it made me think about my own interesting experience with fragrances. This entry is a response to hers as well as a way of reminding myself of great memories.
A couple summers ago my high school basketball team went to Denver for a summer tournament. One afternoon, after we had finished our games for the day we decided to go to the mall. We perused the stores and at one point paid one of our teammates to purchase an entire bright orange ensemble and wear it to dinner that night. She did. The best part of our visit to the mall was when we went to Bath & Body Works. All 12 of us wandered around the store spraying each other with different body mists and perfumes, wandering what all we could get for the least amount of money. At one point, a good majority of us converged around the section of "breathe" products. Kelsi, possibly the most innocent and uncorrupted girl on the team, immediately reached for the sample bottle of "Romance" and began giving each of us a squirt. After that, she picked up a bottle of the lotion for herself and said, "Don't you love the way this smells? I think it smells like sex!"
All of us were stunned. This from the girl who said, "This peach cobbler is so good I'd have sex with it if I could, but I'd have to marry it first." All of us were surprised to hear her compare something to sex. After noticing the looks on our faces she quickly corrected herself, "I mean, this is what I think sex would smell like."
We all had a good laugh about it later but from that moment on the entire basketball team wore one type of lotion and we called it sex in a bottle.

You may think that that is where the story ends but you would be very wrong if you did. It was the end of October, just before my birthday and my sister wanted me to go to the mall with her. "Will you please go to the mall with me," she pleaded.
"Why," I asked.
"Because you're better with directions than I am."
I conceded. After guiding my sister to the mall, a place she'd been numerous times before, I made her promise to go to Bath & Body Works with me so I could get some new lotion. She happily agreed and within the hour we were perusing the shelves of lotions and seasonal items. My sister picked up a bottle of pumpkin spice lotion which was supposed to smell like, you guessed it, pumpkins. I stood next to her as she unscrewed the lid and before I could get away she'd smeared a generous portion of it onto my arm.
I don't know what the lotion actually smelled like but it was nothing like pumpkins. It smelled like rotting pumpkins at the closest but beyond that the best I can say is putrid. And now, it was all I smelled like. After cursing my sister I decided I needed to put something on to try and cover up the stench my arm now emitted. I was still hot tempered and without thinking looked at my sister and said,"I need SEX!" Needless to say, everyone else in the store turned to stare at me. I got past my embarrassment and finally found what I was looking for. I smothered my arm in the lotion before grabbing another bottle to purchase. Unfortunately, the sex didn't cover up the smell of rotting pumpkins but mixed with it to create a scent I hope none of you ever encounter. That was the day "Sexy Pumpkins" was born and after my shower that night, the day it died.