Explicit Sloshy Music

Today turned out to be quite eventful, quite pleasant too. It started when I joined my friend Shantal for lunch. I was telling her all about how I hadn't slept at all last night and how I stayed up ranting for hours and creating a lame excuse for a podcast. To take things out of sequence for just one second i'd like to say that I've decided to do a podcast from now on and though I haven't decided on a schedule yet, i'll post all the links here so you can keep up if you'd like. Anyway, back to the story. I was telling her all about my ranting when I mentioned that I wasn't sure whether or not I should edit myself in terms of how many expletives I used. I then got very excited because i had used the word "expletives" in a sentence. That was the first exciting thing that happened today. 

The second happened only a matter of minutes later when I told Pooch aka Shantal about some really stupid thing I did in middle school which I shall share with you now:

You remember those little toys that you used to get out of the 25 cent vending machines, you know, the ones that you pushed the guy down and he had a suction cup and a spring and you never knew when it was going to jump at you... one of those. Well, I had one of those and one day while sitting on the couch watching tv i broke it. I pulled it completely apart and lost the spring. Wanting to keep myself occupied, I decided to see what I could do with the remaining parts. The little stand was boring so I chucked it and eventually I threw away the figure at the top too, so all I had was the suction cup. It was cool because I could stick it to my arm and it would stay there. I figured out that it stuck to my face too. Well, I had to go to the bathroom so i got up and went and on my way back to the couch I walked by a mirror. There were purple circles all over my face. Panic! I didn't know what the hell it was so i ran back into the bathroom got a wash cloth and started scrubbing as hard as I could. They wouldn't come off. I broke down. "Mom," I called. She came over to me took one look at me and said, "What the hell did you do?" I didn't make the connection. It wasn't until she saw the suction cup on the counter that she realized what I'd done. "You dipshit," she said, "You gave yourself hickies with that suction cup." Needless to say, I have been very careful with suction cups ever since. 

Number 3!

My friend Brenna invited me to help her at a fundraiser today. It was called Art for Autism and they had an art auction to raise money for a medical center. We were to be servers andwalk around with trays of food. What we didn't know was that we were going to meet our new favorite person. The woman who was in charge of the event at this particular winery was named Aubrey, but we forgot that right after she told us. She was kinda crazy, but really nice and funny. Since we didn't know her name, whenever we discussed her we referred to her as the "Black Mamba" and by the end of the night "Sloshy". She wasn't actually sloshed but she had been serving wine all night and she was crazy already so... When we first arrived and were waiting to start working we hung out in Sloshy's office. She would come in and out, but every time she came in it would scare the crap out of us. She kept walking in while we were laughing and we'd stop when she came in. that's pretty much one of the most suspicious things you can do. Eventually that stopped happening because we started working. Everything was smooth. We'd walk around offering people food and then refill the tables when need be.  Every now and then, Sloshy would walk over and say something to us about this or that and we'd do whatever she asked. One time she walked over and said," The owner just got here so go feed people." We had to look extra productive.  Later, once we'd made the transition from finger foods to desserts, I suggested to Brenna that we move on to the grass. As we stepped out onto the grassy area a familiar voice called from a nearby table, "Hey girls, bring those cookies over here." It was Sloshy and she was talking with one of the guests. I walked over and she looked at the tray of goodies in my hands and selected a cookie. She then offered them to the others at the table and Brenna and I went back to work. Not two minutes later while following Brenna upstairs to refill a tray I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn around, slightly startled. "Will you take this," she asked. "What," I said. "I can't finish my cookie and I have to go talk to my boss." Sloshy was holding her half eaten cookie in her left hand and extended it towards me. "Sure." We put it upstairs on a napkin with a note that said, "Aubrey's Cookie. Do not eat this cookie." There were many other events that night involving Sloshy that were quite amusing, but I don't have time to list them all. She made us laugh and even though some of her hand gestures, quirks, and mannerisms were a bit out there, we enjoyed her company immensely.

Last bit of cool.

We were cleaning up outside towards the end of the Art for Autism event when the guys who'd been playing music all night, Juan and Travis, asked me if I played guitar because they'd overheard me tell Brenna that my guitar was better than Juan's. I said yes because I do and they asked me to sit in with them for their last song of the night. Long story short, I got to jam with a couple of awesome musicians. Brenna played Maraccas. So yeah, my day pretty much rocked.