P'wned

please tell me how a person is supposed to react when someone they respect and look up to step's on their face. What good is listening to the words of the wise when the wise are the ones who prevent you from executing their own orders?

Inquisitive minds

I've come to find that there is a very sharp contrast between what you want and what you can get, what you desire and what you can achieve. Though I may not be readily armed with the best examples I believe each of us is capable of providing sufficient supporting evidence. It seems as though every time I turn a corner there is something new staring me back in the face. I see it. I want it. I discover that, at this time, it is not waiting there for me but making sure I pass by without stopping. I've gotten into the habit of slowing down as I pass by, taking a closer look at what it is that I want and why it is that I cannot have it. I've learned that some things are simply not meant to be had while others are meant to be passed by several times until the proper outcome has been reached. If I have learned, as I say I have, why then do I continue to stop and stare when I know the path my eyes follow leads nowhere? The answer is that everything in my path, whether significant or not, deserves attention simply for the reason that I can see it. Have you looked around yourself lately? Have you seen everything that has been placed in front of you? What significance does it hold? Have you studied it thoroughly before moving on?

I'm confused

I'm confused as to the type of friends I make and the people I surround myself with. For example, In one weekend I made friends with several new people to whom I will refer as "The Crew". I met The Crew in a chat room and we bonded and came together as one over a common interest. Oddly enough, I find that the people I'm friends with and spend the most time with are actually quite bad for me. One of my friends never has anything nice to say to me about anything and constantly tries to bring me down. It seems that the people who are the most supportive and the nicest are the ones I hardly see, or have never seen, in person. Why is that? Am I off-putting or something? Do I do something in person that turns people into assholes or do I just have bad luck? I just don't know.

FML

I cannot even begin to explain how bipolar I seem to have become over the last couple years. It seems as though all it takes anymore is one little action to either make or break my day or week. I always overreact and prematurely at that. I doubt myself, I doubt others, and I forget how lucky I am to be me. Some days you just want, need to be happy and it never happens. Those days are the worst. The days when everything is already going to shit are the ones when little things make us happy. The good days are when the little things hurt the most. Don't believe me?

Call me, don't call me

I have decided I am physically incapable of having a conversation on the phone. No matter who it is I'm talking to and no matter the duration, the conversation is always punctuated with long awkward pauses. I love words. Some even say I have a gift with words, but apparently this only applies when I am either writing or speaking to someone in person. What is this phone anxiety I have that prevents me from functioning properly? I have no fucking clue. If you've ever talked to me on the phone you know this is the truth and if you have yet to engage in a telephonic conversation with me I suggest you try it... just so you know what I'm referring to. ;) Seriously though, I'm sure I'm not the only person with telephone anxiety. I mean, really... what is there to worry me? They can hear me but they can't see what I'm doing. It doesn't matter if I look clean or have spinach in my teeth as long as I speak with some semblance of sanity it's all good. Wrong. I dial a number, the recipient answers, we say hello, how are you, and then silence. Between topics I stop. I am completely silent. Then something interesting comes up. then silence. All the while I have no idea what is going through the other person's head. Are they wondering why I can't talk? Am I distracted by something? Do they think I'm a creeper? Why aren't they breaking the silence? Should I say goodbye and end the suffering for both of us?

If anyone knows how to improve my telephone skills the help would be greatly appreciated.

<3

Fluorescent converse... total awesomeness!

To whom it may concern

Specifically someone from california who reads this from time to time. No, I do not know who you are... I know people in california but I have no way of knowing which californian you are or if you're even one that I know. Weird yes but it intrigues me that with a little bit of html code one can suddenly go big brother on everyone else. Well, not really but sort of. The point is, leave me a comment next time you stop by... anyone for that matter, leave me a comment. I'd love to know why you read what I write, even if you just accidentally found the page.