19 hours, 5 minutes, and 1 phone call

nuff said.

Boris, the ER night nurse

For those of you who remember, I started learning MMA at Jackson's gym last summer. For those of you who don't, well I'm sure you do now. I was only there for about a month and a half but I met some really awesome people (who also happen to be really awesome athletes) and had the best summer of my life. I was so excited about learning this new sport and getting to work with Greg Jackson Julie Kedzie and other professionals. When I left for school I new I would most likely have to put my learning/training on hold until I came back for winter break and that turned out to be the case. Before I left though all of the people I'd met and gotten to know told me to make sure and come back and to have fun in school. Well I got back to NM on Nov. 21 and only today did I finally make it back to Jackson's. 

I don't really know why it took me so long to work up my nerve to go back. I guess I was just afraid that people would expect something different from me now, I dunno. It wasn't anything obviously self conscious, like weight gain (I actually lost five pounds so hah! freshman fifteen) or anything but a fear that I wasn't going to be good enough or that everyone I knew wouldn't be there. The first week I was home I had this dream that I drove down to Jackson's and it was virtually empty. I walked in and Greg came out to say hello. He said he was going to wait a little longer to see if anyone else showed up for class so I pulled out the pair of shoes I'd been customizing and laid down to pain them some more. I was working for a few minutes when Greg and Julie walked back in and said let's start class. I went over to the mats and saw a few other people. Greg said to partner up so I looked at Jules. "I can't," she said. "I blew my knee out." I was in shock. The next thing I know I"m standing in a hallway with Julie and we're talking about her injury. "Ya, I blew my knee out about a month ago and I can't train or fight like I used to." I felt really bad for her. "The thing is," she said, "Now I can focus more on coaching. I've always wanted to coach a fighter and I think you'd be perfect for my first official student." The conversation continued with her telling me that she wanted me to be her protege and that she wanted me to learn as much as possible in order to excel. I woke up a little while later. 

Now, believe me when I say that I hope Julie never suffers a career ending injury but the idea that she would want to train me was awesome. Even after this little confidence-booster of a dream I still couldn't find the nerve to go back. But finally, today I did. I went today and saw DJ and Ryan, the two guys who really helped me when I first started out. I also saw Sam and Jesse, two regulars who I grappled with on occasion. Unfortunately neither Greg nor Julie was there today, so i didn't get to see them but class and yoga were still really good. In class I got partnered up with this old guy named Boris who told me he was a night nurse for one of the ERs. He had a thick (my guess is Russian) accent and a very large stomach. He was super friendly and super nice and when we'd grapple and I'd get out of something he'd say things to John (the pro who taught class today and a really cool guy) like,"This woman, Wow! She do crazy things." Every now and then when he'd try and put me in some sort of arm or shoulder lock and I wouldn't tap (because he wasn't doing it right so it didn't hurt) he would say aloud, "I try and make pain but it no work. Wow! This woman... she's... wow." Anyway, even though it wasn't quite the experience going back that I'd hoped for, Boris made my day. Hopefully I'll get to see Greg and Jules sometime soon but I'm pretty happy gettin to chill with the boys again, even if they are kinda crazy. 

scribble

People tell me I should write. People tell me I should make movies. People tell me I should write music or coach a team or do this or that. What am i supposed to do in response to that? If I deny having any talent they keep insisting I do. If I say maybe I will they expect to see the fruits of my labors. I have something to say about that. I'll do what I want when I want and if I happen to change my mind I expect you to understand and support that decision. What I do with my life is not up to you. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate getting compliments and everything but sometimes I do things just for me and you are accidentally privy to them. It's these times that I just want to scream and say get out, because it's a side of me that is only for me to see. I wish I could write eloquently all the time and make people cry. I wish I was always full of creativity and inspiration. Sometimes you just need to vent and sometimes you wish that the compliments people gave you were true because if you could just do what you do and be successful everything would be alright.

...check your mirrors

So I haven't written in a while and I feel like I have a bit to write about. If you know what's been going on you know I've been complaining a lot and I apologize for that but let me say this just one more time... I am so pissed about what happened to my computer and my frustration is not going to end any time soon so please, bear with me. A few notes... My website zitrocity.com may look a little different in the next couple days due to the fact that I lost all of the settings and layouts when my hard drive went bad. I'm going to try and re do it as close to the original as possible but some data and files are permanently gone so... with that out of the way here goes the rest. 

I've been rewatching Alias this week and hopefully will get all the way through by the time I have to go back to school but it's brought back some fond memories. Like the "Oh Fuck! That was my favorizzle shizzle!" face made by Khasinou when he gets shot. I wrote a paper about how Alias and Sydney Bristow affected my life but unfortunately that too is now gone. My dog is eyeing me suspiciously from the next cushion over on the couch and her breath stinks! I still think Lena Olin aka Irina Derevko is a badass and she tops my list of villains followed closely by Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatal. 

Oh, so, James Bond is for lack of a better word, a bitch. No, not the one played by daniel craig or sean connery, a different James Bond. I can't really explain it, just that Bond makes my life a living hell every time I turn around. Suffice it to say that should I come face to face with Bond I would happily engage in hand to hand combat in order to kick his ass... and trust me I can. I need to stop now before I ruin my credibility and rep so that's all for now.